Hello, My name is Jane, I just got married last month and I am already tired of the marriage, I feel so heavy. I am not feeling myself again, I feel like my life is on hold. Having to stay with him for a month is killing me.
I love my husband so much but the marriage thing is annoying. Knowing I can’t have any other man kills me more and more, I feel trapped.
He is always on his system or smoking, I am always on my phone too, all we do is sex, eat sleep, sometimes talk.
Is this what the so called marriage is about? Nothing too special, why the hype? Why does every woman want it? I hate myself for wasting my time. I want to get out. Please what can I do?
I guess you had a preconceived notion about marriage and it’s not going according to that script of yours. However, you must understand that the institution of marriage is not a sprint race. It’s a LONG DISTANCE RACE. It’s a marathon, dear.
But more importantly, I think the intimacy ingredient needed is missing in your marriage and I find it disturbing, especially for a couple that just got wedded over a month ago.
I always tell people that marriage is not just about two adults legally & morally engaging in sex or pro-creating or providing the money to take care of the home. Marriage goes far beyond that.
It’s about two individuals who have decided before God and human witnesses and binded together by law to be one body for the rest of their lives. That means you both have to share your worries, joys, anxieties, hopes and other things together as a couple.
You both, therefore, need to SPICE UP your marriage. I am sure you both used to gist together a lot before being married. So, what happened to that? Why can’t that activity be revived? Also, on weekends and your free days, you both should leave the house and head for some soothing environment to have fun. Could be either the beach, a stylish restaurant, a hotel. Just somewhere that would be different from your now familiar surroundings. Speak about everything from work to transportation hassles to friends’ progress. Also play fun games with each other. These are important ways to rekindle that burning love that attracted both you and your hubby together to become man and wife.
So, I think you and your husband really need to evaluate the thoughts about marriage before you both got married. And please, do not even harbour that thought of going to play “an away game”. For what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
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