My name is Cordelia and my heart has been broken over what just happened to me.
When I saw in my first year in university, I began suffering from epilepsy. It was quite tough to deal with as I suffered seizures at random times. My episodes became embarrassing and I had to skip classes at a time.
At one instance during one of my episodes in class, a guy, who I will name as Alexander, popped up to my side to comfort me. He later accompanied me with my female friends to the school clinic, where I was stabilised. After I was discharged, he had a discussion with me outside the clinic before I went home. Even though I was not keen on him at first, I was shocked that someone could be that caring to me and I really liked that.
We exchanged numbers when I came to class the following week and we became very good friends. Alexander took care of me to the extent that he treated me like a queen. He could tell when an episode was coming even before I knew. If I complained of one discomfort, he would throw the drugs out and look for another one.
Alexander and I dated for four years in school, we went on picnics, we went together to the cinemas to see movies. All through that period, he was really caring and there for me when I had my episodes and other medical emergencies. What was the most surprising thing to me was that he introduced me to his family after our NYSC year, and they were nice to me.
He bought me thoughtful gifts. The sex was the best thing ever. Before him, I could not really express myself as my former boyfriend was always wary of my condition, especially after I suffered an episode during one of our outings in the “other room”. Being with Alexander made me feel powerful and loved.
It was my turn the following year after my NYSC year as I introduced Alexander to my parents and siblings. It was love at first sight for my family as they warmed up to him. Everything was going smoothly and I was in love – or so I thought.
Sometime early this month, in our seventh year of relationship, we were arguing about something so small I can’t remember, and he said; “It doesn’t matter — I’m marrying someone next month (April) anyway.” I was shocked. I did not know what to say at first as I was completely stunned and dazed. I asked him how. “How did you have time to have a relationship with someone else when I’m with you all the time?” He did not provide any solid response, so I went into the room and packed my things from his house.
If I say I have gotten over this, I would be lying to you, counsellor. The man whom I have loved for seven whole years just jolted me within the twinkle of an eye. It is very painful knowing that he is going to get married to another person. What should I do?
First of all, I am so sorry for what happened to you. I know you are upset and rightly so because this was a long-term relationship that, according to your account, was so sweet and looked as if was going to culminate at the altar. But this is a case of everything going wrong within the twinkle of an eye.
It was unfair for Alexander not to have provided you a reason for the sudden break up, especially after you both have introduced yourselves to your respective families. I would have loved to know if he ended a seven-year relationship because of your medical condition or for whatever reason that he could not even discuss with you first before causally throwing in that shocker.
I know this is painful, but for the sake of peace, I advice that you let him go. It would not be easy to forget but gradually begin to relgate him away from your sub-conscious so that you can protect your mental space and feel better.
More importantly, do not give up on love. It sounds like a comical statement to you now after your experience but trust me, you will find the man that will respect and treasure you like the queen you are. Just open your heart – and this time- your eyes to be able to probe properly and accomodate the lucky guy.
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