Hello, Love and Life, my husband and I have been married for four years. My husband used to be very close to his best friend but then they fell out badly. And following an email he sent to this friend of his, it sounded just like a lover’s bust-up.
When I asked him whether they had been more than friends he got very angry and did not speak to me for days.
Some months back my husband’s younger brother came out as gay a couple. I thought it would help my husband to be honest so I asked him again but he got very angry.
He says he loves me but I feel trapped and I do not want to be married to the wrong person. Please Love and Life I need help.
Hello Anonymous Writer,
It’s understandable if you are quite palpable about your husband’s sexuality, and rightly so. However, you can only challenge him when you have concrete evidence against him.
But at this moment, your thoughts are just more of hearsay. What I would have liked to know is that whether you had access to the content of the said mail.
Your husband could have been angry with you not necessarily because he’s also partly gay, but because you alleged him to be so. And it does not mean because his younger brother has admitted to be gay, that means he’s also one.
If you are insisting on questioning your husband’s sexuality, then such enquiry requires a careful probing because it is a very sensitive matter. My advice to you is that you should engage your husband on such topic when he is in a totally relaxed mood. Do not lay the accusation straight on against him, rather ask him about the well-being of his friend and how he is doing. Then, you can continue to carefully ask questions that would not offend him. It may take time, but the gradual conversation would eventually lead to an outpouring of confession by your husband.
You can extract the truth from your husband, but you just have to be careful so that you do not ruin your four-year old marriage.