We’ve all been there. It’s just not going in and you both know why. In this awkward scenario, occasionally, a little white lie is in order. Just pretend it doesn’t fit, it’s easier this way and no one’s feelings get hurt.
AKA, “Are you nearly done?” Maybe your Big O has passed, or maybe you’re just getting a bit snoozy and hangry. Either way, pressure is no-ones friend in the bedroom. Try switching up positions to suit you, or subtly asking, “is there anything you want me to do?” Or, you know, just be honest and say you’re not feeling it.
There are certain sex noises that sound embarrassingly similar to flatulence? However mortifying this may be, just have a laugh and move on. It’s totally normal.
Even if you’re someone who loves a chit-chat, sex time is not the time to talk about their mum, whether the laundry needs doing or how a work meeting went, simply enjoy the moment.
Obviously, apologise if you’ve accidentally caused physical or emotional harm. That’s just common decency. But don’t let British culture trick you into constantly apologising for things like clumsiness. You do you, and do it with pride.
But what do YOU want? It’s always best to be confident and clear in bed. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and voice what you don’t want. If it’s something you’re enjoying, give it a hearty “oh yesss”, as though they’re fulfilling a life-long dream. But if it’s something you don’t want – make that clear. “Not tonight”, “why don’t we do this instead” or, “you haven’t got the chance.” Just avoid indifference – no one is a mind-reader.
Asking about sexual health is an absolute must with a new partner, or even a recurring one. But always get the STI discussion out of the way BEFORE sex starts, not as an afterthought. It’s a sensitive issue that might not be ideal for mid-sex.
Cute, sweet, adorable are all things that can be said fully clothed. Never in the presence of a naked penis.
Talk about a backhanded compliment, sure, you’re reassuring him that he’s doing a swell job, but you can probably do that without implying he somehow looked like he’d be crap.