Dear counsellor,
I’m writing you from outside the country, I don’t want to mention it to avoid giving myself out.
I can’t explain how I feel writing this as I never thought it would get to this but I’m emotionally drained and need some help quickly before I hit rock bottom.
It all started from a group I belong to where I read one story of infidelity and how a man had hanged himself after finding out his five children were not his.
I decided to do a DNA test for my two kids secretly. I volunteered to pick the kids from their grandma where they spent the weekend. My wife did not suspect I was up to something.
I arranged with a friend of mine who took us to the place we got the test.
When the result was mailed to me as I requested, it turned out my second daughter is not mine. I immediately rushed home and moved all my wife’s things outside. When she returned, I humiliated her and sent her packing. Her family requested for a meeting to settle the matter which I declined. Now, the centre we had the test called me some days ago to apologise that there was a system issue an mails got mixed up.
When they sent me the real result, my daughter is actually my own. I have gotten the owner of the place arrested but my home has been destroyed.
I have been begging my wife since then but she has refused me. Her family have also turned their backs on me.
I admit I messed up in throwing her out but I was angry then.
Please, what can I do?
Hello Anonymous Writer,
Well, I do not envy you right now. You must be going through a lot of pain and could be thinking that a lot of it is self-inflicted.
The past is the past, but you should have, for the sake of posterity, listened to your wife. May be you would have discovered then that the test centre got their analysis wrong.
Right now, the only thing you can do is to continually beg your wife and, especially her family, for forgiveness. There is no one apart from her family you would meet that will be really able to placate her. May be you can also implore her closest friends also.
Also, if you have direct contact with your second daughter, the subject of this crisis, I think you should reach out to her and apologise for hurting her and her mum’s feelings. Then appeal to her to talk to her mum. That could just do the magic for you.
You must continue to seek for forgiveness from your wife and her family and show sincere remorse before things could be soothed out. It may take time but you just have to be very patient.
Yours,
GCN
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