In today’s episode on Yarn Central, the subject of discussion is what it is like to be a Pastor’s child. Here’s a look into the minds of Charity, Peter, Francisca and Ope on how living as PK (pastor’s kid) has been for them.
“I think having my mom as a pastor brought some level of respect to me as a teenager. I made more friends kind of because being a pastor’s child meant you were a celebrity’s child in that particular parish so almost everyone your age wanted to associate with you. And that also meant you automatically became a role model for the rest of the children to look up to. In my own case, I was confident enough to speak in front of people at age 13. I had already started preaching to my peers and when I turned 15, I went into the adult’s auditorium to preach too during the special services. There was this pressure to be that ideal teenager who had a character worthy of emulation. I got older and wanted to explore but remembering who my mother was, my options were limited. I started going to unilag and this was because my parents needed me to school within the state. As much as I feel I am being restrained, I feel things will get better as I get older.”
– Charity, 21
“Being a pastor’s child has its perks until you have to live up to people’s expectations. I got scolded for almost everything I did. Even my friends were supposed to be pastor’s kids because “birds of the same feather flock together” and “evil communication corrupts good manners” so that automatically made me not to associate with a motley of people because I was being monitored. The first time I tasted freedom was when I went to a boarding school. I made sure I did everything I wasn’t allowed to do at home. When I got to SS1, my parents for no reason withdrew me from the boarding school and decided that I’d have to finish my secondary school in a day school. It was a necessity that we fasted every Sunday morning. I just didn’t get why we (I and my siblings) had to be dragged fasting along with the adults.
We never complained to our parents but God knows we murmured amongst ourselves. You know how humans are, restrict them from something and they’ll make sure they hop on it. I decided to get rebellious when I got to the university. My parents emphasized on purity and fornication and the need to always stay pure which was equal to not having sex. The whole rebellion in me, no matter how unwise it seems to me now, made me do the exact things my parents preached against. I had sex in the first semester of resumption in year one and I felt like I was beginning to break the chains my pastor parents bound me with. I did other things that I can’t disclose here but if I am gonna tell you one thing for sure, it gave me this freedom that I sought for. The expectations have been cut short to a certain level and now that pressure has been uplifted from my being. My parents still advise my younger ones to not be like me but that’s up to them to decide if they still want to be held under the shackles of being that “ideal Christian child.”
– Ope, 23
“As a child, I had to wake up very early on Sundays because my parents had to be present at the worker’s meetings. My Sunday mornings were lonely. They’d locked me and my siblings in the pastor’s office who happened to be my dad. This was so that we wouldn’t move around and they also gave us books to read. We would be so bored and when people walked in, they’d see us as gentil children and praise us for it. They didn’t care that we were practically dying of boredom. We had to be chaperoned for every children’s program. Other kids had friends or groups of friends, they were usually so free and laughed at jokes we couldn’t hear. We weren’t allowed to be seen with some of these children and when we were seen with them, some nosy teachers would sound an alarm.
It was terrible because we had to be perfect, reserved, and always tidy. I couldn’t be myself and express myself freely, even when I heard these jokes from my peers, I had to make sure I wasn’t seen laughing with them. I had to be involved in every bible reading, draw your sword and Sunday school quizzes. But the fun things like choreography, drama and others were things I had to beg to be a part of.
I couldn’t attend birthday parties without a worker from the church. When we went on trips to the camp for church convention, we were put in separate buses away from other children. Nobody except other pastors’ children were allowed to be friends with us and the friendship was censored.
Imagine people calling you or your mom aside to drop comments on how your skirts should be longer than others or your hair should be more covered so it’ll be obvious you’re the pastor’s child. They’d say things like the devil might want to use the children. Stereotype is a big issue too. Some people believe every pastor’s child will definitely end up wild and rebellious. Some believe they are targets of the devil, ‘you have to be very careful, because it is through you the devil will try to spoil your father’s ministry.’ If there’s one thing I can change about myself, it is being a pastor’s child.”
– Francisca, 22
“As a youth who grew up as a Christian and as a pastor’s child in the Mountain of Fire and Miracle Ministries, I have quite an experience to share but I’ll try to keep it as concise as possible. We were expected to be prim and proper. I wasn’t allowed to talk like every other kid my age. I feel like as a pastor’s child, the expectations are always too much. It is like the rest of the kids could get away with anything and you were stuck in whatever mistakes you made. That wasn’t fair at all. I remember when it became a necessity for us to speak in tongues, since the pastor’s children were looked up to as the ones to get it right first, my dad made sure I learned how to speak in tongues and I mean, I had to convince my soul that I was communicating with God by speaking in rolled tongue movements that I had no understanding of but of course, that was the essence of speaking in tongues, you didn’t need to understand because it was the language of the Holy Spirit and only God could understand what you said.
I saw myself actively learning to speak in tongues and forcefully find the confidence to speak it out to the hearing of my mates so they could do the same thing I did. I was a very hormonal kid and it was tough when I started crushing on the girls from my church. An elder caught me and a girl talking and immediately went to report me to my dad who happened to be the pastor and I was immediately brought out to be chided and prayed for. I’m an adult now and every time I think about it, I always wonder if that was really necessary. The first time I really felt present in church as a person was when I was invited to a friend’s church and there, I wasn’t a pastor’s child but a regular member and I also liked how things were done there and that was when I knew everything was wrong with my life back at my father’s church.”
– Peter, 25
Did you know there’s something called Preacher’s Kid Syndrome? If you enjoyed reading this, kindly like and share! Also, do not forget to check out more of our articles in the Yarn Central column on Newsbreak. Love and Light to you and yours.
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