As women, sometimes, we can be blind when it comes to love. When the chemistry is off the charts or we’ve been through a longer than average dry spell of good men, we may overlook some red flags and end up jumping headfirst into a new relationship.
Although none of us is perfect and we certainly all have our “stuff”, you want to be careful of the kind of stuff you’re willing to take on when dating someone new.
And although we often attract a mirror of ourselves to heal those things that need to be healed, there are still certain types of men that you need to stay away from when it come to dating. It’s not because they are bad men, but because their personality types tend to not work out when it comes to long-term and healthy relationships.
Ultimately, the choice is yours. But if you find yourself having smokin’ chemistry with one of the following types of men, I highly advise throwing some water on that puppy before things get too hot to handle.
Here are 8 personality types of men you should avoid dating if you want to find true love long-term, healthy relationships.
1. The Perennial Bachelor
He seems to have it all — good looks, a solid job, loads of interesting friends, and a charming personality. He’s even had a string of long-term relationships that seem to go nowhere.
This guy might tell you what’s missing from his life is “marriage and kids”; yet, he has a million and one reasons he’s never settled down with Mrs. Right.
This guy typically hasn’t settled down because he has no intention to. Even if he says he wants to, he typically finds a reason to jet when things get too serious.
As soon as the relationship gets deep and you’ve finally left your toothbrush at his place along with a couple pairs of clean underwear in one of his drawers, he’ll say something to the effect of, “It’s not you, it’s me.”
If he’s been a bachelor for as long as you’ve been alive, he’s most likely going to stay that way.
2. The Player
Monogamy is not in this guy’s vocabulary. He loves hanging out together but he also loves hanging out with a lot of other women. The sex with you might be amazing, but it won’t be amazing enough to make him want to have sex with just you.
This type of guy always leaves you second-guessing yourself because he’s lax in making plans, often cancels on you and never talks about the future.
Players will always leave you feeling insecure and constantly wondering where the relationship is headed. If you’re looking for a committed, monogamous relationship, you won’t find it with this guy.
3. Mr. Potential
This guy has so much going for him, but something is always holding him back. Maybe he has issues with money or can’t seem to hold down a steady job.
He might drink a little too much and not be able to get sober as hard as he tries. He maybe lacks ambition and can never figure out what he wants to do with his life. No matter what it is, you see so much potential in him if he could just get his stuff together.
Girl, let him get his life together … without you. You don’t need a science project. You need a man.
4. The “I Don’t Do Feelings” Guy
Emotions — any and all types — make this guy extremely uncomfortable. If something is bothering him, you’ll never know it.
He doesn’t like conflict and doesn’t want to talk about anything too deep. He’s all about going out and having fun but if you’re even considering having a conversation that involves telling him how you feel about something, he’ll run for the hills.
Relationships involve talking about the hard stuff — not just the hard stuff going on inside your relationship but the hard stuff going on in your lives. If you find your guy develops a twitch every time you get a little weepy, you may want to grab your tissues and pack your bags.
5. The Non-Communicator
If he wants to see you next weekend, he waits for you to make the plans. When he’s running late, it doesn’t cross his mind to call and let you know. You might go days without hearing from him because he honestly doesn’t see the point in letting you know he’s still alive.
With this guy, you don’t know what he’s doing between dates, who he’s with or where you stand because communicating what’s going on with him just isn’t his thing.
The most frustrating thing about dating the non-communicator is that more often than not, he just doesn’t know he’s not communicating. It’s a way of life for him and you’re not going to change him. You be the communicator in this one and clearly communicate: “I’m out.”
6. The Lost Soul
It can be easy to fall for this guy. He seduces you with his vulnerable yet brooding, “I’m so confused …” mystique. He asks for your opinion on things.
He feeds your ego by tapping into your desire to help him figure his life out. He says he wants one thing, but his actions say something completely different.
He comes across as genuine and sweet and the fact that he seems to need you can be incredibly alluring. But, be wary of getting involved with this type of guy. It can be a roller coaster ride going on this journey with him and often will do nothing but drain your energy.
Sometimes, it’s better to remain his friend and allow him to do his own work solo before entering into any kind of romantic relationship with him.
7. The Lover Of The Chase
This guy loves the beginning of a relationship! He is a master at courting women. This guy loves to flirt, will love-bomb the crap out of you, send you dozens of text messages a day, and talk endlessly about how lucky he’d be to ever get a girl like you.
Once he finally gets your attention, reels you in, and lures you into the bedroom, expect a complete 180 from him. His barrage of flirty text messages, phone calls, and attention will come to a screeching halt. He’ll start acting distant.
Communication with him goes from multiple times a day to once a week if you’re lucky. You start to think maybe you misread what he wanted from you.
You didn’t. The chase is over and this is where the game ends for him. So let it end for you too. You deserve better.
8. The Narcissist
There is so much literature out there nowadays on the narcissist but it still bears repeating. This guy has tons of charisma and charm, especially in the beginning. He knows how to seduce you and will tell you whatever you want to hear. Often, it’s “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before” followed by lots of love-bombing.
The narcissist may love you but he doesn’t love anybody more than himself. He lacks empathy for other people and if you ever question him or what he’s doing, he will manipulate you into thinking you’re insecure, jealous, paranoid or just plain crazy.
At the end of the day, he’s out for him and only him and will use any form of manipulation to get what he wants. Run, don’t walk away from this type of guy.
Although it can be difficult to recognize the signs in the early stages of a relationship that we may be getting involved with one of these types of men, once you know he falls into one of the above categories, it’s best to get out before you get in too deep.
Love may be blind but it doesn’t have to be when you’re equipped with what to look out for in order to have a healthy relationship.
Newsbreak.ng is a publication of Platinum Crest Communications Limited. We are a broad-spectrum source of credible, useful and timely news, features and opinions, especially as they affect Nigerians at home and in the diaspora.