Artistic Director and Lead Writer at Roverman Productions, James Ebo Whyte, says the notion by some men that their wives do not like sex is wrong.
Whyte, a Ghanaian playwright, author and motivational speaker, believes failure on the part of men to bring their wives to orgasm is the actual problem.
“Any time I hear a man say, my wife is not interested in sex, I laugh and say no, there’s no woman I know who is not interested in sex. What you should say is that my wife is not enjoying having sex with me, not that she’s not interested in sex,” he said.
The playwright, popularly known as Uncle Ebo Whyte, who was sharing insight on his new book ‘Let’s Talk About Sex’ on JoyNews’ AM Show on Friday, said men share the blame.
He said every woman loves sex, “but if you are not bringing her to orgasm, you are not letting it be in the total context of the relationship, then women begin to feel used.”
Mr Whyte added that it even gets worse if she feels that this thing the man is doing does not mean anything to him, “because he’s doing the same thing with Adwoa, he’s doing the same thing in town with Ama.”
He is, therefore, of the view that “if children were born out of good sex, a lot of marriages will be childless because sex in a lot of marriages are porous and quite often it is the man having released, having discharge, having ejaculation, and the woman being left at high and dry.”
Uncle Ebo Whyte also noted that, when it comes to sex, the thinking of women differs from that of men, and “I think that what men do not understand is that for women, sex is connected to everything else.
“It’s connected to the way I feel about you, It’s connected to the way I feel about myself, It’s connected to the way I feel about everything about this relationship, It’s connected to the way I feel about this environment, and all of that,” he observed.
However, he noted that men hardly consider their environment when they have an erection, but “she is thinking about the whole environment, if somebody going to stumble upon us, are the children asleep, [whereas] for you, you don’t care because the children can be in their room.”
“Our life is very simple when it comes to this, we must understand that, and we must understand that for the woman, it is not that simple.”
The playwright further noted that men sometimes fail to realize that “a man is off-hand and shabby with his woman and still expects the woman to be nice.
“You snap at a woman, and then you want sexual attention, of course, she’s not going to give it, not that she is punishing you, not that she’s been difficult. Her mechanism is such that everything is linked to that,” he said.
“And so the cue that men need to know when you get the woman in life is, be nice to the girl, be nice to the woman because everything is borne out of that, your gestures, the way you speak to her,” he advised.
Uncle Ebo also advised that “if you want sex in the evening, it should start in the day before so that her mind begins to get ready.”
According to him, being thoughtful and sensitive to your women “is the whole thing,” but cautioned it must not be only when a man wants to have sex because it may be rejected, “so let it be in your relation.”
Being nice to the woman, the Artistic Director explained it should not necessarily be an all-day package.
“The point is that we must understand that for the woman, it is not just that my husband wants sex so give, [rather], my husband wants sex, but he spoke to me badly this morning, how can he have sex, and it’s a genuine question for them, they get confused about that,” he further noted.
Again, he cited, the woman thinks about why “we’ve just had sex, and then he gets up and goes to sleep in the hall, why, why won’t he cuddle me, why won’t he hold me after it.”
MyJyoyonline
