My name is Jide. I’ve been married for five years now with three kids.
We appear to be happy on the outside, I mean, I don’t fight my wife and my kids are lovely.
But I won’t particularly say I love my wife. What happened is this: I was heartbroken by my choice lady years ago. So in a bid to forget her, I dated this woman, who later became my wife. She isn’t particularly my spec, I now sleep with other women I consider attractive outside. I keep late nights because I try to avoid her to an extent.
I know it’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have used her as a way to get away from my heartbreak. But now it has happened, what can I do?
I’m considering a divorce but my conscience keeps pricking me each time I think about it.
It’s a great thing that you conscience is pricking you when are deciding on your course of action against your wife. That indicates that you are a human being who may veer off the right lane to the wrong lane of life forever.
You have already admitted that you were at fault for “loving” a woman who is not your spec, but man, stuff happens. Now, you both have been married for half a decade and blessed with kids. Your wife is not troubling you or committing adultery, you have your piece of mind. So, what else do you want? Or is it only things of the flesh that you want to dwell on in your marriage rather than compatibility and peace?
Let’s reverse the scenario for a minute and assume that you caught your wife cheating. Your reaction would likely be over the top and you would seek a divorce. So, if she decides to seek one now based on your current infidelity and she takes custody of your own children, would you blame her? Certainly not!
So, my advice to you is that you should immediately stop all your frivolilities and instead concentrate on strengthening the bond between yourself, your wife and your kids. There is nothing more glorious than having a beautiful and peaceful family. Nothing beats it, not even figure 8, orobo size or sex.