Hello, Love and Life,
I am in a relationship with a guy who I love very much.
We’ve been together for a year plus now and I’m loving every time we spend with each other.
But the only worry I have is that anytime we have sex, some of the things he wants us to do always makes me uncomfortable.
There was a time he asked me to give him a blow job, which I find very irritating and it is giving me the creeps about him.
Will my continued reluctance to some of his sexual ideas not affect our relationship?
Hello Anonymous Writer,
Well, you have raised what you consider a worrisome plight (and understandably so), but surely you did also play your part in creating such a situation. I will explain why.
In as much as young unmarried partners want to create some bonding to improve their relationship, engaging in pre-marital sex does not help breed that familiarity needed and it leaves one or both persons vulnerable to potential heartbreaks and regrets, as it seems in your case. There was no need in the first place to either yield to your boyfriend’s demands or thrust yourself upon him, especially knowing that the future of such a relationship is not guaranteed.
Be that as it may, you have to politely insist to your boyfriend that you are not comfortable with certain positions and actions during sex. For example, it seems you are not a fan of oral sex and, therefore, you must have a discussion with him and explain your dislike of the particular sexual act and several others. It should be a heart-to-heart discussion, preferably done at a period before you both get intimate in order not to spoil the mood in the other room.
Once you are able to clearly communicate your reservations to your friend, I am sure he will listen, understand your viewpoints and love you more for who you are. But if he is an “adventurer”, then be prepared to lose him, which may be good for you in the long-term. So, you just have to express your thoughts to him so that the earlier he understands your sexual behaviour, the better for the relationship.
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