I met my boyfriend online recently, we fell in love with each other and before I knew it, we fixed our engagement for April 25. I am a caterer and he works with a maritime company, he is not so rich but we are okay. Recently, something terrible happened at his place of work that led to him loosing his job. He hasn’t really opened up to me, but I think it’s related to missing funds, and he was not the only one that got sacked.Now his saying the engagement will not hold, that he cannot go ahead with it because he has no job. He also said we should postpone it till he is ready.I have brought up different kind of suggestions but he still refused. I told him we can even do something small now, he still refused.Now the question is, what will I tell my mother? How will I even explain this? I am going mad already and I’m confused.Please advice me. Do we call of the wedding? How do I handle this situation because I can’t bare the shame.I need advice please.
Let me, first of all, commiserate with you over your current predicament. It can be devastating knowing that your most joyous day as a woman is so near, yet so far.
However, upon a second thought, you would have to give full consideration to the request of your boyfriend. I am sure he means no harm and would not want to break your heart, but he is considering the solemnisation of the relationship because of his financial paucity circumstance as you mentioned in your letter.
I am sure you prefer a happy, stable home to an unhappy, crisis-ridden and resources-lacking home. Therefore, in this very difficult moment for your boyfriend, you should show signs of “for better, for worse” by suppressing your own wishes and accommodating that of his. Kindly defer to him and agree with his suggestion that the wedding be postponed. This is to enable him to gain a bit of financial standing once again.
However, saying “till he is ready” is not the best of comments from your boyfriend. Such a statement could be interpreted to mean that he can be ready in a year, two years, three years or more, and that leaves you in a state of limbo. Your boyfriend should be ambitious enough to secure a good job and plan ahead for the wedding.
I, therefore, suggest that you give him a deadline of a year and the half in order for him to settle all grey areas so that he can perform the necessary procedures with respect to your impending marriage.
And you have to exhibit the spirit of a matured adult that you are to explain the situation in its entirety to your mother. Make her understand that the setback, as painful as it is, is quite necessary in order to help your husband-to-be close all loose ends, so that your marriage would forever be a happy one and that your new family would know peace and prosperity for all its days.
Do not get agitated or angry, just be calm and see the setback as a precursor to greater things. After all, the popular saying goes: “Every disappointment is a blessing.”
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