Hello counsellor,
My husband and I operate a joint account and we have not had any issues for years until recently when he started spending our money on his parents.
I wouldn’t have been angry if he had not complained some months ago when I wanted to get my mum an expensive phone with our money. He ranted, he complained, he stopped talking to me until I changed my mind and didn’t get the phone.
But now he is the one spending our money on his own parents. Last month, he bought bags of rice, beans, garri and other foodstuff for them without telling me. He also supplied some building materials to his mother’s ongoing building project without my knowledge.
When I confronted him, he called me a bad wife.
This matter is very irritating because we plan relocating abroad with the money he is busy spending wastefully.
Please what else can I do?
Hello anonymous writer,
Well, this is quite a tricky situation. Anyways, your husband, with regards to your complaint, should remember that you both are a tag team, especially in this situation, and subsequently behave accordingly.
He is meant to abound by the universal law of reciprocity and also respect you as you both contribute money towards funding the joint account. It is a joint account not just in name, but because two or more persons sustain it, irrespective of whether anyone donates more or not. Moreover, if one party could make a sacrifice by not spending funds from the fund account on family members, why then should the other party do otherwise?
So, I will suggest that instead of confronting him in a manner that may be deemed harsh, try to engage him in a calm conversation. Make him understand that what he did was wrong as he ought to have consulted with you before making such decision. Persuade him to make a commitment that he will never do such and you should also commit to same.
However, if your husband still insists that what he did is right, I suggest that you quietly go to your account officer and inform him/her that you do not want to operate the account any longer and commence the process of withdrawing yourself from it. I am suggesting this instead of you informing your husband first of your intention to pull out because he may make the process complicated for you. But by the time you inform your account officer first and then he/she sends the needed document(s) to append his signature in affirming your pull out, he will have no other option than to do so.
Yours,
GCN
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