My Story is a weekly series featuring stories told by people from different walks of life on a variety of topics.
Back story: Deji, age 29, shares his own side of the story about his somewhat toxic relationship with his girlfriend but lays emphasis on how much improvement has been made in their relationship.
Okay lover boy, how would you describe your love life?
LOL, I like when I’m being called that but only by my girlfriend. Anyway, I would say my love life is very rosy, yes it has its thorns but I have chosen to focus on the rosiness and that’s how I get by.
Oops! Sorry about calling you that since I’m not your girlfriend
Nahh it’s okay. She does that a lot and I’ve gotten used to ascribing that title to her voice only. Very soothing.
Interesting, I like it when men are very open about how romantically involved they are with their women. Could you describe your girlfriend?
Of course! My girlfriend, when we first started dating was quite sweet but unstable (she had bad experiences from her previous relationships), she’s also very introverted, loving, kind, annoying lol. I could go on and on.
Unstable? Could you explain a bit more about her instability?
The first time I met my girlfriend, she was very suspicious, temperamental, dishonest and what the general public would call toxic but I liked her. I guess when you like someone, you like them despite seeing the red flags staring at you eyeball to eyeball. She lied about not being in a relationship while being in a very torturing one. Our communication pattern was very askew. I did the majority of communication and had to put up with her poor communication skills… In our first month of dating, she cheated. She cheated twice but I knew she was the one for me and chose not to give up on her.
Omo. That’s a lot. How were you able to put up with everything she came with up until this moment?
I would say one thing that kept me going at first was purely physical. Even when she was rude to me and asked questions she clearly knew the answers to, she looked so beautiful. Her diastema made her smile so adorable that despite finding out she had cheated on me twice barely two months into the relationship, I still wanted to stare at her gap-toothed smile. Aside from how she looked and still looks, she is kind. I saw how she treated others with gentleness and kindness as well as stiffness (when they deserved it). Another very important reason for sticking with her was after I discovered the relationship dynamic between her and her father. It was pretty rough but I won’t get into it.
Did you at any point doubt the possibility of the relationship being a healthy one?
Yes I was doubtful. Every time she offended me, I asked myself if I could really deal with everything she came with in the long run. I couldn’t talk to my friends about it because I knew they wouldn’t be able to see what I saw in her even if I doubted the possibility of us starting something healthy. I’m 29 years now and if there’s one question I always asked myself some months back, it was “can you marry this lady?”
Have you been able to answer this question and what is the answer?
Yes, the answer is yes. She’s improved so much just as much as I have improved myself. She taught me patience which is something I lacked and all that she needed from me to heal. I was patient with her as I waited for her to see that I wasn’t there to harm her but to assure and love her.
How long have y’all been together?
We’ve been together for 8 months. I think about marriage a lot. We’ve talked about marriage but she has been a little hesitant to really be engrossed in the conversation but I’m hoping when I ask her to marry me, she says yes.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the improvement in your relationship?
We’re a work in progress so I would say a solid 6. When I can confidently say it’s an 8 is when I deem it time to propose to her.
Hmm that’s alright. I’m really hoping it stays the same because I feel like you didn’t want to share much details about her behavioral pattern…
I’ve given as much information as I can give lol. I’m only certain we’re on the right path and I can only hope for the best.
I’d advise you to put your hope only in Jesus but really, I wish you good luck!
LMAO! Thank you so much💞
Notes from the publisher
Hi! My name is Hephzibah Mgbajah and I’m glad you read this to the end! I hope you found it interesting and insightful. Do make sure to check back by 3pm every Tuesday for stories like this. Also, follow us on Instagram @yarn.central to stay updated on new posts and premium content!
You can also check out this story if you’d like to stick around for a bit 😉 https://newsbreak.ng/my-story-i-caused-my-parents-divorce-and-i-dont-feel-sorry-about-it/
Discussion about this post