Good day counsellor,
My name is Kenneth. I am a married man with four children.
This matter started with my wife. She nags too much.
We just employed a new receptionist and by virtue of my position as admin manager, she calls me when there is a need to. One Sunday night, she called me to inform me that she had lost the office keys and I should please ask the cleaner to make her own available in time for work on Monday.
My wife saw her photo pop-up on my phone when she called and started asking me different questions. I refused to answer her because I was angry at how she was questioning me. All of a sudden, she stood up and slapped me twice. Her siblings, who had been with us since the lockdown started, were there. I was so embarrassed. I went to the room to cry that night.
She slaps me as she likes in that house. Sometimes over very little wahala. Our youngest son once asked me why mummy is always beating me, I was ashamed.
Please what can I do? I don’t want to make a scene because she is my pastor’s daughter.
First of all, my commiserations over the unsavoury incident. Like you rightly mentioned, such an incident is highly embarrassing, especially when it is witnessed by your own children or by visitors residing in your home. It is even more degrading if such action occurs regularly, as you said. I seriously wonder why you have allowed such a disastrous trait occur repeatedly.
For this particular incident, your wife was too hasty in reaching her conclusion. Women – either in relationship or marriage – are always territorial and want to hold their man to themselves only. Your wife possibly thought you were indulging in an extra-marital affair and was unfaithful to her. It’s quite a delicate decision because she did not allow you to explain yourself.
Obviously, there is still a lot of bad air resulting from the photo pop-up on your phone. I advise that despite the difficulties, try and hold a civil conversation with your wife. Sit her down and explain the entire circumstances of the image and let her know that the image of a caller automatically comes up when you receive a call, and that you have nothing to do with your receptionist regarding an amorous relationship.
Subsequently, I think you should also have a chat with her father and explain to him the recent behaviour of his daughter. Recommend to him that he should have a discussion with her daughter and let her know that her actions are unbecoming of a wife.
These steps should help ease the torrid relationship between you and your wife, and restore joy and happiness in your home.
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