Hi,
I’m in my fifth year of marriage and God has blessed us with two kids, the third boy died less than 24hrs after delivery due to complications recently, but we have moved on.
We both agreed to give enough space for another baby to give her more resting time and get herself better. In doing this, our withdrawal method has since been working.
I notice my wife recently demands sex more unlike before, she participates in it more than she used to, she doesn’t get tired while I get tired, though I don’t resist anytime she wants it and I never showed any body language against it.
But I’m just surprise at this sudden change. I also notice she has added in size, getting fatter, I’m not complaining anyway. I want to ask if this is normal, and if there’s any consequence for this? Also, what’s your advise as to how best and span of spacing children?
Pitan
Well, let me just say that your situation is a pleasurable complication. I know such description sounds weird, but your wife’s demand for more sex from you is far better than hearing that she is a constant away player.
You would have to take into consideration hormonal changes, especially after your wife’s three pregnancies, as well the psychological impact of the statement concerning spacing. I think they do play a role in women’s craving for sex months after their delivery.
I do not think you guys committed any crime at all by giving space for your kids. In fact, I think such decision will greatly aid your planning for the family in the long term. Most people take family planning in Nigeria for granted and such negligence, as it has been severally proven by reports, has caused serious havoc for individuals and families.
So, you guys have taken a wonderful decision. As to your choice of period and method of spacing children, I will suggest a three-year gap is alright. It allows your wife to recuperate from the stress of her previous pregnancy. It also allows you both to take care of the kids already born to a certain age as children rather than caring for infants in the space of a year. For the method, it depends on your individual and, if need be, religious choices. Some religious denominations, for example, may not permit the use of condoms or withdrawal method during sex as part of family planning, while some others do allow. Some prescribe the natural method of counting days to know likely ovulation days before having sex. So, different methods can be used and you have identified that you both prefer the withdrawal method. Anyway, if you and your wife are deeply religious individuals, ensure you do not deviate away from your religious teachings, while you also continuously seek professional advice from a qualified medical professional.
As for your wife’s sudden craving for sex, I advise that you carefully weigh your statement before she misinterprets it and takes it for something else. Provide her with pleasure as she pleases. Then once in a while, you can chip in a word or two to her about her constant sex could lead to unwanted pregnancy. But you have to be nuanced about how you deliver such message so that it is not seen in a negative light.
You can also encourage her to do some work out in order to burn out some fat.
GCN
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