Did you really mean it when you congratulated that family member or friend on their successful relocation abroad? Were you really happy for them? Here are some Japa stories of 2023 from people who suffered the relocation of their loved ones.
Kosiso, 19
“My family didn’t want my brother to japa from Nigeria because we felt it would be the beginning of dividing the family into fractions and my father didn’t want that. My brother insisted he could only find a better life for himself abroad and left despite every reason that was given. My dad has severed ties with my brother and we do not mention his name when my dad is around. This japa stuff has broken my family.”
Janet, 26
“I have a three years old daughter and she doesn’t know her father. My ex-boyfriend left us when I was four months pregnant. He still doesn’t know he has a child. When I found out he had left the country, I didn’t know how to tell him I was pregnant with his child because I didn’t want him to see it as a setback. We had broken up after I was accused of cheating. I didn’t but that’s not important. He’s married now and has a son with his wife. I feel like if he was still in Nigeria, I would’ve summoned the courage to go to wherever he is to show him our child. I’m scared I would never be able to tell him we have a baby together.”
Lizzy, 24
“I’ve thought about all the possibilities that could bring a barrier between me and my bestfriend like death, fights, growth, but never did I think japaing would be one of them. After we graduated from uni in 2019, Joan wanted to get her masters degree in the UK but she said it wasn’t until she got married first. I felt relaxed because that meant that I would have my friend to myself for a while because if it was up to her to get married soon, we would both be joking with ourselves. Also, I didn’t have money nor parents rich enough to sponsor my education abroad. However, things went south when she texted me one night to tell me she was really considering relocating soon but not exactly for education. This was just 14 months after we graduated. We hadn’t even served yet. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know whether to feel pity for myself since I couldn’t afford to even dream of leaving the country or be sad that my best friend was leaving me. She left 5 months later and ever since, our communication has waned and I know things are no longer the same and they won’t be. I’m not the type to complain about these things but really, I miss seeing my friend thrice a week or just gossiping about trivial things. I see her photos with her new friends and this breaks my heart.”
Olawole, 30
“My ex-girlfriend suddenly relocated with her family. I wanted to break up with her before she left but that saying, “you never know what you have until it’s gone” made me realize when she told me they were leaving how much I really liked her. She didn’t say a word about her family’s plans until it was a few days before their relocation to Canada. This lady literally just dropped “I have exciting news” text for me on WhatsApp and that was how I found out. We didn’t have enough time to go on dates because she was so busy getting her things together. The reverse was the case, she broke up with me a month after she relocated saying that she couldn’t handle the distance and she couldn’t promise faithfulness in the relationship. I’m still confused till now how the everything played out.”
Jude, 32
“I think every time someone you know relocates abroad, you’re reminded of how broke you are. It’s not like you really want to leave Nigeria o, you just don’t even have the option as per just in case you need to run away from this mess of a country. It’s like it is only me and my family that is remaining in this country because everyone I know has left. My colleague upped and dipped Lagos for Philadelphia without even leaving a proper resignation letter. This is someone that I thought I was doing better than because this guy always looked like a hungry person who was struggling to even have one meal a day. I paid for his lunch on some days sef just to find out that oga was collecting all his coins to leave us behind. We’re friends on FB so I see his photos and posts about the US government and make I just talk true, his photos make me feel and look hungry because if you see this guy now ehn.”
Dayo, 25
“I was there with my sister through the process of getting the VISA and all that stuff. I was excited, I was very happy. No one was prouder and happier for my sister than I was until the day she was leaving. I held my tears back till we got to the airport. While we were there, it dawned on me that I’d probably never see her in years and that was when the tears filled my eyes. It was when she was headed for the jetway that I started crying. I cried on the way back home. I cried when she called me on facetime to show me where she was staying. I cried for days. Why do they have to leave?”
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